Monday, March 13, 2017

Borderline Personality Disorder

So, I no longer meet the criteria for BPD.

Borderline Personality Disorder
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation
(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self image or sense of self
(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
(7) chronic feelings of emptiness
(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms*

I meet #6 and #7

It has been really hard to have BPD. BPD isn't something that can be cured, it is in remission, like cancer. Evan seems to think that I am cured, even though I have explained to him that BPD can't be cured. I love being in remission, I am more stable, I have been able to have a better relationship with Evan, I don't pick fights with Evan.  I am so happy to have a better relationship with Evan. It has helped us to be closer. Being in remission is also like cancer in the sense that there is always a chance that I can always relapse, I can always have more symptoms of BPD anytime in my life.
*DSM-V

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